You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
