We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
