I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
They took my balls.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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