great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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