They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
