All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she peed on how many people?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
