dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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