That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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