am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
