And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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