So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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