My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I need moral support for this bender
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
