im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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