I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
