so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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