my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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