mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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