just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
