so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
