if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
then he tried to convert me to islam
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
