I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize