She is in my trunk
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
