Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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