went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
