i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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