yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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