he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
