What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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