Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Your penis caused this!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
