$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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