I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
