I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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