Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
