worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
