He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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