carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize