you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
