from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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