I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
