Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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