I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
