My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
