It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
