Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
