Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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