i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
