apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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