she was so not down for the gang bang
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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