You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
