i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
