I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
