did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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