You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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