she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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