I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
