idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
