After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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