My girlfriend figured out who you are.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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