The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
