At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
