My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
