I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
