It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
